Serving others is different than being a Servant. Know the difference.

I have been in the service industry all my life. From being a paper boy to a grocery store clerk then a retail career since the age of 16. I am 41 now and I am still a servant in the service industry. I work for a corporation and serve customers in the optical industry. I am judged and rewarded by my ability to sell customers products and meet their needs. Each customer is an individual and needs to be treated as such. I am controlled by the corporate guide lines and standards. Therefor I am a servant. I have no control of the selection of products I sell. The method they are to be presented and price they are set. I only control the conversation and the relationship I build with the customer. Many people work this way. Just as a king commands a kingdom and a group of servants. The CEO is the appointed king and the employees are the servants. The only difference is we are free to leave. The consequences will be financial instead of an execution. But we have the choice to look for a new king if we choose. 

When we serve, we serve a cause. The funny thing is now companies realize that serving a cause helps business grow. From Tim Horton's Doughnuts  and their fundraising for camp good days to Wegmans grocery stores and helping out hunger. You can not shop many major businesses without being asked for a donation for a cause. I even thought during the ribbon craze that a store that just supported causes would be a viable businesses. Breast Cancer products in isle 1. Starving Children isle 2. Stray Pets Isle 3 etc. 

All kidding aside every cause is a good cause as long as the group is responsible with how the donations are used and you believe in the cause. If you don't believe in the cause, do not represent it. It will show every time you discuss the cause. If you join a corporation, and you have no experience with what the group does. I advise you to jump in and learn about it and see if it is a match. It may be the reason you  serve those in need.  

TA4MC Never serve a cause that you do not believe in and never serve a master who does not believe in you. 

TA4MC I still play make believe.

Yesterday in came home with dress clothing for my kid. It was a blast as a parent to see my daughter dressing up as Dorthy, Snow White and Cinderella. The irony was the night before, I was playing make believe.  I'm a Gamer. RPG, card, board games, video. I love Games, I design games. 

Last night I played a game of FATE. A great story telling game. Gaming gives me many things. It give me time with friends, as creative outlet.  A good laugh and  an escape from what is bothering me in reality.

Unlike my daughter my game of make believe we did not dress up. We rolled dice, fought bad guys and overcame challenges. We rolled dice and enjoyed the story we created together. 

My daughter was a two Disney Princesses, a ballerina, and Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. She wore the Ruby Red shoes with ever outfit. She was a miss and giggles from the moment I walked in the door after work. 

Today's advice for my child is to never stop playing. Make believe or other wise.

Parental-Do. A Bakers Dozen of Difficult Subjects to Think About Now More Than Later.

From my Black Belt Test. 

I am not a black belt in parenting. Maybe a yellow or Orange belt. But no master. We all have the choice of being proactive or reactive. As in the game of chess we have to sometimes think 3 moves ahead. Other times we have to be the Aikido Master and keep your center and react with energy equal to the energy we receive. As the parent of a 3 year old child, I have been thinking about the hard topics parents have to discuss with their children. Lately I have seen many commercials trying to help parents talk to their kids about topics such as texting while driving, prescription drug abuse, what to post and not post on the internet. It made me think about what do I need to prepare to talk to my child about. 

1. Death
2. Love
3. Family
4. Money
5. Faith/religion
6. Education
7. Drugs/Alcohol
8. Relationships
9. Media
10. Passion
11. Dating/Marriage
12. Health
13. Entrepreneurship

My list is probably not complete so please add to the comments any subjects I may have missed.

TA4MC You can plan ahead and be ready or be centered and react. If you do not have a plan or you are off balance it will not work. 

Commend, Comment, Discuss, Complain. but never be silent. 

Enjoy Every No Because It's A Step Closer to Yes!

"No!" You can not have a cup of my coffee. 

I spend my days often hearing "No"! Part of my job is to make sales calls to previous clients inviting them back for their annual eye exam. Today I made 43 calls and got one yes. The standard for what I do or cold calling is 1 yes in 10 calls  and getting those odds  is because they are a previous customer. I sit on an uncomfortable stool that gives me low back pain daily and hear "no" twenty, forty and on my best day one hundred times in one day. Waiting for a " yes"

The reality is now I'm just a cog in a corporate machine but when I do this I gain experience and confidence in every no. I plan to be an entrepreneur and when I have my own business I have to learn to be comfortable to "Nos". People who may be close friends, or family may never buy my products or services. Worse they may not support me in my ideas or plans but with that negative response you have to to build a wall of confidence and experience. Each no comes with a lesson and you have to learn from it.

Find your passion learn how to support your self with it and share that passion with everyone who will benefit from it. If the world see's it is sincere it will be like a gravitational pull bring everyone closer to you.
As you try to spread the word of your passion many will say no but you will get closer to a yes with every no.

TA4MC Dont blink you may miss something good...

Why aren't talking about this more?

Ok so Richard Sherman commercial for Beats Wireless On-Ear Headphone (Silver)

Not 30 min later he makes an amazing play  and then he goes on his rant on Fox about how mediocre Michael Crabtree is, causing a media frenzy.




First of all Richard Sherman is a great football player. I don't know anything about him as a person other than he has an opinion and likes to share it. I know the Seahawks Defense helped me win back to back Fantasy Football championships. 

I also know that where I live in Western New York . Marshawn Lynch was ran out of town and now as a team The Buffalo  wish we had a dominating running back that can take over a game like him as well as stay healthy.  He was considered brash, abrasive, gangster by some.  I also do not know him but I know he is one of the best running backs in the league and my home team traded him for? 

The point I am trying to get to is this. I hear all the time about the attitude of players in any sports league sometimes gets out of hand but I have never seen anything more respectful than Marshaun Lynch shaking the hands of his offensive line and other team mates as a touchdown celebration. It's different than just handing the ball off to the official and going to the sideline. It's showing respect for the hard work the first half the whole team put into running the ball against basically a brick wall dressed like the San Francisco 49ers. I don't know but something about that whole series events struck an accord that said here is the way it can be done  and here is the way it should be done. 

TA4MC Don't blink you may miss something good that should be celebrated and talked about. 

Good Dreams Are Worth Fighting For

In honor of Martin Luther King Day. I wanted to discuss the issue of dealing with prejudice and our differences. 

It's can be very difficult at times to " keep the dream alive." When individuals poorly represent their race, creed, religion,sex or financial status or any other way to divide people, Keeping positive is tough.

I had interactions where people would play a " race card" to get their way. I have Been turned away by a minister of a church where I was to be married because his religious beliefs did not allow people of different faiths to be married. I've had the stereotypes other religions
Working in retail I have had people try to use there status, color, age to get discounts, free products or the worse make me feel like cap because I'm not them

We have a choice, let seeds of hate and anger grow a garden on evil that blooms when we meet new faces that remind us of the sad experience we had, or let the lesson of that experience teach us and give each individual no matter what they are the opportunity to show us the quality of their character.

It ain't easy. The media promotes the negative over the positive.  The I Have a Dream Speech is only played today and not everyone believes in happiness and equality for all but you have that choice.

I choose happiness how you find it with people is your choice.   The best way I can find is holding on to the positive experiences you have and have been taught to you by those who are different than you.

TA4MC To Show No Fear you Have to Know Fear

When your a parent dealing with a sick child that has to endure surgery all you can do is be strong for them.  As a parent you know fear. The fear of loss, pain, failure,  not being able to support your child.  As parents we live with these fears daily,


To have fear for your child is common. My mom was very afraid for me. She could not watch me play football or compete in  martial arts tournaments. She feared my injuries more than focused on my drive to succeed.

My child had surgery.  As a parent I tried to make my child comfortable and confident by showing no fear.  She was concerned but at the moment you have to let go of your child's hand and watch them hold the hand of the nurses.

Fear is hard to control but the better we can control our fear the better we can control ourselves.

As a parent how do you control your fear in front of your children.  

TA4MC If you want to be successful in life and in some ways in business, Passion has to come first.

Yes me in the Metallica T-Shirt. I wish I still had some of those old shirts.

Passion it's what drives us. It gives you a reason to wake up,to work a horrible 9-5 so you can follow that passion. When I was 15 it became music and martial arts. The three gents up there were also passionate about guitars we attended the National Summer Guitar Workshop. NGSW. for short. Sad to hear the camp I grew up in and had some great teenager memories is now bankrupt but that is how life goes. Why go to camp when you can learn on-line. I'll tell you why community and a connection to people who share the same passion as you do. FYI a lot of links, zero affiliates.

Many of my friends on Facebook have a passion some are real close friends like my friend Phil his passion for role playing, board and card games have lead to a second career as a writer and speaker on the topic of being a better Game Master.

A member of my High school Class Jeremy who has taken the lessons he has learned about losing weight and maintaining a healthy life style and now coaches others.

Ted, you only see 2/3 of him with the black hair. From shredding guitar to Juggling and, Fire breathing ,He now is the creative manager for one of the elite nightclubs in the world.

My Aunt Debbie who has been a pillar of the weight loss industry and a counselor for 25 years with Weight Watchers and now wants to help people look as good as they feel.

My College friend Jason who's love for history, heritage and a home town field made create a documentary of the Village of Youngstown NY. Hometown Pride USA.


What they all have in common is the passion came first. It has to Everyone here had a reason to lose weight, write a book, play music, make movies. Some did it and hoped financial success would follow. Others just did it and became leaders of what Marketing Guru Seth Godin say's is there tribe.  But the point is Passion has to come first. At age 15 I wanted to play guitar. At age 41 I ask my self the question did I want to play guitar to play guitar.Or did I want to play guitar to look cool and get girls. I still play guitar and I can tell you I got a lot more pleasure teaching students how to play vs. any of the girls I met in any nightclub or bar I played in. When I taught I hoped most if not all of my guitar students saw my passion for both music and their success.

TA4MC  If you want to be successful in life and in some ways in business, Passion has to come first. 

TA4MC Change the approach and change the results.

Tunnel Vision on your goal can always bind you from what you need to see to achieve it. 

As a parent,teacher and manager in business. I am always trying to achieve a result: get my child to go to sleep, have kids study, reach a higher sales goal. The result is always a reflection of a change in behavior. Many times it is a form of experimentation or worse try, fail and try again. To avoid the aggravation try something different. After analyzing what you do do that is not working try this.

1. If you find yourself always screaming. try whispering with intense eye to eye contact.
2. If you find yourself saying no, try giving two alternative choices.
3 If you find yourself using negative vocabulary learn to re-frame your words in a positive way.
4. If you find yourself unhappy ask what would really have to change them or you?
5.If you find yourself, be happy most people don't. 

TA4MC Avoid things that suck your time, because it is the most valuable thing you have

Be careful a butterfly may land on your tounge!!!

We live in the world of the Time Suck. Right now your reading my blog. Thanks!!! but could you be doing something better with your time?  Dont get me wrong I have the need to just relax but when you have goals, ambitions and passions you have to avoid the time suck.

Ten years ago I didn't understand the person with the bumper sticker with the slogan " Kill Your TV." I loved my TV. From cartoons and Brady Bunch as a kid. Miami Vice and A Team. I loved my TV. Now as an adult I see it as competition for my time. Add now to that the internet, mobile phones, tablets, any social network. I would lose days some times weeks with video games. SSX, GTA3, Vice City, God Of War. I gave those great games the most valuable thing I have. My time.

I am not saying do not blow off steam watching your favorite show. Taking 2 hours out for a great movie or spending an hour to play a video game. Just don't lose focus on what your goals are.

If its getting a 4.0. learning a new dance or mastering a martial art. Put your goals and passions first.

Please tell me what your favorite time sucking activity is then go get one step closer to a personal goal.
My goal is 100 subscribers in 21 days.

" Playing nice is important" But it is more important to teach people how to play nice.

Mage Knight Tournament A long time ago.

I admit I have my failures as a father and husband.Today my wife ,daughter and I played a board game based on the Disney JR. Show Sophia the first.  You can find it here on Amazon at this affiliate link, Princess Sofia Surprise Slides Board Game. A cute little game but I found myself upset when my child would cheat, knock over pieces, not hold the spinner right. It made the game unenjoyable for me but when I reflect, my child was having fun and I was there for companionship. I felt it was my responsibility to teach her how to play the game right. When I reflect it is more important at her age 3.5 to just teach her to play.

There were only three of us so her stuffed bunny her cousin gave her when she was born was the fourth player. Her mom spun for the bunny sometimes and my child would move her pieces. She petted the bunny, she giggled with the bunny, meanwhile I'm trying to teach her to be respectful of the pieces on the board and how to properly hold and spin the spinner.

I figured out a bit why. I grew up in a home where chess was not just a game it was a sacred ritual. My father would scold me, grab and strike my hand when I would bang the chess pieces or make a poor move. For him it was mental exercise not a game or play. I guess that rubbed off on me a bit. I love games, but I can tell you that when I attend gaming conventions  and play with people who have poor manners at the table I get upset and I let them know.

Lesson learned. There it a time and place for etiquette when playing a game. When you playing with your child especially when they are young, the most import thing is playing.

Discussion: How do you teach the proper way to play games to young children.

TA4MC You have to take it.

At Wrestlemaina Access March 16th 2002 Toronto ON Canada

TA4MC You have to take it!

"But that's not nice to take things". Well only if they do not belong to you. But when it comes to your livelihood, your happiness, your passion, you have to take it. Today's lesson comes from the WWE. Yes the World Wrestling Entertainment.  Your dad has been a fan since he can remember sitting in front of the tv and watching wrestling while sitting on my dad's lap or at his feet.

I remember a year ago WWE during there programming announced the beginning of there new network. The problem was no traditional cable or satellite network wanted to purchase it. They saw no value in it's content. The commercials that ran during WWE  programming  disappeared. It just sort of crawled into a hole not to be spoke of.

Flash forward maybe 9 months 12 months later. If you can't do things the old fashion way, make them your way. Today they launched in traditional WWE style. Their own on line WWE Network. $9.95 a month they told the traditional cable channels to take a leap and forged there own destiny. Will it work or not lies in the future but. They took it. They made it happen.

When someone says no or doesn't want to you to play at there party. Throw your own and do it better.

TA4MC . A Person's Soundtrack is a great way to understand them.

Today would have been my father's  70th birthday. Last year I shared some of his lessons in a blog post  about creativity.   Today I was thinking about how music has been a driving force and an emotional outlet in my life and wondered if the music I remembered him listening to as a child was somehow and emotional outlet for him. We never agreed on musical taste. I remember as a kid my father was trying to work out in the morning and my first album was KISS  Double Platinum (Remastered Version). He was not amused but he at least listened as I listened to his music. To this day some of the songs I can remember still stick in my head. He was a fan of both Broadway, Blues, Country and Folk. I can remember him singing Don Quoite from Man of La Mancha: A Decca Broadway Original Cast Album (Original 1965 Broadway Cast). Summertime from Gershwin: Porgy and Bess and anything by Buddy Holy, Johnny Cash, The Kingston Trio and the Smothers Brothers.

Looking back I feel the music he listened to mirrors the moods I feel today, Working to the bone, of 16 tons. Fighting the dragons of Man of Lamancha. I can say very recently I have reattached to the lyric of many of the current pop and alternative music of Lorde's Pure Heroine, and her hit track Royals.  Make the money " don't let the money make you on The Heist by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.  Counting Stars by One Republic Native [+digital booklet].

The music you listen too can inspire, motivate.anger, it has an effect. You will wake up with a song in your head. Sometimes a song that has been too much on the radio or a song that just relates to you. Keep your music close and share it with those you love and hopefully the message that the artist is sharing with you reaches those you care about.

What songs are on your playlist that you connect to so strongly that you have to share them with the world and you will take the time to share with your child?


All blue links are an affiliate link. Thank you.  Please Comment, Like and Share.

TA4MC A parents Love is a mix of Affection,concern, friendship, trust and discipline.

When I have to discipline my child, I wish I did not have to threaten her with concquences. It discourages me to have to use fear of loss of privliages, toys, activities or a spanking to see the result I am looking for. The reality is if I do not do this now In the "real world" when she is not deaths with Someone who loves her she may have to learn the hard way. As a parent I see it is my responsibility to make the "hard way" as soft as possible until the lesson is learned.

In what way do you effectively discipline Your child ?

Blowing off steam

Braving the elements is nothing new especially where I live in Western New York. One of my biggest pet peeves is letting your self be trapped by them. Twice a month I meet with a few of my friends to catch up with each other and play games. It's one of the few times a month I get to relax and enjoy something away from work and family.  It's an opportunity to let off steam and relax.

So TA4MC is value the time you set aside to relax just as much as any other and don't let the elements prevent you from having fun.

What to expect now

Todays Advice For My Child "TA4MC" for short is a daily blog that focuses on lessons that I learn every day by challenges I deal with daily. The advice usually comes from an event that takes place during the day. My advice is intended as if I may not be around to deliver it personally. It is inspired by the movie My Life  with Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman. I am in no way Terminally Ill but I do suffer with Myasthemia Gravis and Type 2 Diabetes.

My advice comes from the perspective of wanting happiness for my daughter. This may be observed in non-traditional formats. I have no set lever of success or standards for my daughter to achieve other than to be happy. 

One of the reasons I share this because as an elementary school teacher in Las Vegas Nevada, I saw the affects of not having parents around for kids for what ever reason. A few students referred to me as Dad. I may no longer be there teacher, but I can still teach or share and create awareness, ideas and advice. 

If at any time I choose to use this site, blog or any form of social media for monetary gain, I will be transparent in these actions. As one of the lesson I wish to teach is entrepreneurship and freedom from the rat race world many of us find us so unhappy to be in. 

For the last two years I have posted regularly  on my personal Facebook page I now plan to go public with this fan page and blog. I want readers to be engaged, and discuss the advice for good, bad or indifferent. 

Thank you for following me on my personal journey to be around for my Daughter Olivia, my cousin's Children and my Students from Manch Elementary School  even when I can't be.