Serving others is different than being a Servant. Know the difference.

I have been in the service industry all my life. From being a paper boy to a grocery store clerk then a retail career since the age of 16. I am 41 now and I am still a servant in the service industry. I work for a corporation and serve customers in the optical industry. I am judged and rewarded by my ability to sell customers products and meet their needs. Each customer is an individual and needs to be treated as such. I am controlled by the corporate guide lines and standards. Therefor I am a servant. I have no control of the selection of products I sell. The method they are to be presented and price they are set. I only control the conversation and the relationship I build with the customer. Many people work this way. Just as a king commands a kingdom and a group of servants. The CEO is the appointed king and the employees are the servants. The only difference is we are free to leave. The consequences will be financial instead of an execution. But we have the choice to look for a new king if we choose. 

When we serve, we serve a cause. The funny thing is now companies realize that serving a cause helps business grow. From Tim Horton's Doughnuts  and their fundraising for camp good days to Wegmans grocery stores and helping out hunger. You can not shop many major businesses without being asked for a donation for a cause. I even thought during the ribbon craze that a store that just supported causes would be a viable businesses. Breast Cancer products in isle 1. Starving Children isle 2. Stray Pets Isle 3 etc. 

All kidding aside every cause is a good cause as long as the group is responsible with how the donations are used and you believe in the cause. If you don't believe in the cause, do not represent it. It will show every time you discuss the cause. If you join a corporation, and you have no experience with what the group does. I advise you to jump in and learn about it and see if it is a match. It may be the reason you  serve those in need.  

TA4MC Never serve a cause that you do not believe in and never serve a master who does not believe in you. 

TA4MC I still play make believe.

Yesterday in came home with dress clothing for my kid. It was a blast as a parent to see my daughter dressing up as Dorthy, Snow White and Cinderella. The irony was the night before, I was playing make believe.  I'm a Gamer. RPG, card, board games, video. I love Games, I design games. 

Last night I played a game of FATE. A great story telling game. Gaming gives me many things. It give me time with friends, as creative outlet.  A good laugh and  an escape from what is bothering me in reality.

Unlike my daughter my game of make believe we did not dress up. We rolled dice, fought bad guys and overcame challenges. We rolled dice and enjoyed the story we created together. 

My daughter was a two Disney Princesses, a ballerina, and Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. She wore the Ruby Red shoes with ever outfit. She was a miss and giggles from the moment I walked in the door after work. 

Today's advice for my child is to never stop playing. Make believe or other wise.

Parental-Do. A Bakers Dozen of Difficult Subjects to Think About Now More Than Later.

From my Black Belt Test. 

I am not a black belt in parenting. Maybe a yellow or Orange belt. But no master. We all have the choice of being proactive or reactive. As in the game of chess we have to sometimes think 3 moves ahead. Other times we have to be the Aikido Master and keep your center and react with energy equal to the energy we receive. As the parent of a 3 year old child, I have been thinking about the hard topics parents have to discuss with their children. Lately I have seen many commercials trying to help parents talk to their kids about topics such as texting while driving, prescription drug abuse, what to post and not post on the internet. It made me think about what do I need to prepare to talk to my child about. 

1. Death
2. Love
3. Family
4. Money
5. Faith/religion
6. Education
7. Drugs/Alcohol
8. Relationships
9. Media
10. Passion
11. Dating/Marriage
12. Health
13. Entrepreneurship

My list is probably not complete so please add to the comments any subjects I may have missed.

TA4MC You can plan ahead and be ready or be centered and react. If you do not have a plan or you are off balance it will not work. 

Commend, Comment, Discuss, Complain. but never be silent. 

Enjoy Every No Because It's A Step Closer to Yes!

"No!" You can not have a cup of my coffee. 

I spend my days often hearing "No"! Part of my job is to make sales calls to previous clients inviting them back for their annual eye exam. Today I made 43 calls and got one yes. The standard for what I do or cold calling is 1 yes in 10 calls  and getting those odds  is because they are a previous customer. I sit on an uncomfortable stool that gives me low back pain daily and hear "no" twenty, forty and on my best day one hundred times in one day. Waiting for a " yes"

The reality is now I'm just a cog in a corporate machine but when I do this I gain experience and confidence in every no. I plan to be an entrepreneur and when I have my own business I have to learn to be comfortable to "Nos". People who may be close friends, or family may never buy my products or services. Worse they may not support me in my ideas or plans but with that negative response you have to to build a wall of confidence and experience. Each no comes with a lesson and you have to learn from it.

Find your passion learn how to support your self with it and share that passion with everyone who will benefit from it. If the world see's it is sincere it will be like a gravitational pull bring everyone closer to you.
As you try to spread the word of your passion many will say no but you will get closer to a yes with every no.

TA4MC Dont blink you may miss something good...

Why aren't talking about this more?

Ok so Richard Sherman commercial for Beats Wireless On-Ear Headphone (Silver)

Not 30 min later he makes an amazing play  and then he goes on his rant on Fox about how mediocre Michael Crabtree is, causing a media frenzy.




First of all Richard Sherman is a great football player. I don't know anything about him as a person other than he has an opinion and likes to share it. I know the Seahawks Defense helped me win back to back Fantasy Football championships. 

I also know that where I live in Western New York . Marshawn Lynch was ran out of town and now as a team The Buffalo  wish we had a dominating running back that can take over a game like him as well as stay healthy.  He was considered brash, abrasive, gangster by some.  I also do not know him but I know he is one of the best running backs in the league and my home team traded him for? 

The point I am trying to get to is this. I hear all the time about the attitude of players in any sports league sometimes gets out of hand but I have never seen anything more respectful than Marshaun Lynch shaking the hands of his offensive line and other team mates as a touchdown celebration. It's different than just handing the ball off to the official and going to the sideline. It's showing respect for the hard work the first half the whole team put into running the ball against basically a brick wall dressed like the San Francisco 49ers. I don't know but something about that whole series events struck an accord that said here is the way it can be done  and here is the way it should be done. 

TA4MC Don't blink you may miss something good that should be celebrated and talked about. 

Good Dreams Are Worth Fighting For

In honor of Martin Luther King Day. I wanted to discuss the issue of dealing with prejudice and our differences. 

It's can be very difficult at times to " keep the dream alive." When individuals poorly represent their race, creed, religion,sex or financial status or any other way to divide people, Keeping positive is tough.

I had interactions where people would play a " race card" to get their way. I have Been turned away by a minister of a church where I was to be married because his religious beliefs did not allow people of different faiths to be married. I've had the stereotypes other religions
Working in retail I have had people try to use there status, color, age to get discounts, free products or the worse make me feel like cap because I'm not them

We have a choice, let seeds of hate and anger grow a garden on evil that blooms when we meet new faces that remind us of the sad experience we had, or let the lesson of that experience teach us and give each individual no matter what they are the opportunity to show us the quality of their character.

It ain't easy. The media promotes the negative over the positive.  The I Have a Dream Speech is only played today and not everyone believes in happiness and equality for all but you have that choice.

I choose happiness how you find it with people is your choice.   The best way I can find is holding on to the positive experiences you have and have been taught to you by those who are different than you.

TA4MC To Show No Fear you Have to Know Fear

When your a parent dealing with a sick child that has to endure surgery all you can do is be strong for them.  As a parent you know fear. The fear of loss, pain, failure,  not being able to support your child.  As parents we live with these fears daily,


To have fear for your child is common. My mom was very afraid for me. She could not watch me play football or compete in  martial arts tournaments. She feared my injuries more than focused on my drive to succeed.

My child had surgery.  As a parent I tried to make my child comfortable and confident by showing no fear.  She was concerned but at the moment you have to let go of your child's hand and watch them hold the hand of the nurses.

Fear is hard to control but the better we can control our fear the better we can control ourselves.

As a parent how do you control your fear in front of your children.