Bad days help you see how good some days are.

Today was a bad day at work. I work for a national optical chain that has over 900 stores in the US and Canada that has a social media clause so I can not mention them by name and I choose to keep that part of my life out of my blog. But to set the stage for this post I wanted you to know it was a bad day at work.  We had problems with customer's insurance, attempted shoplifting, parents who could not control their children who damaged products and displays in the store. Problems with the computers, customers walking out with out paying for services and I ended up leaving late due to these issues and others.

Due to this the problems snowballed. I didn't get to say goodnight to you because I was home late again. Due to the lack of sales I lost commissions and didn't make as much money as I normally would. I left with a bad taste in my mouth questioning am I doing the right thing. I have a job that pays the bills but not much else. Every sale counts, ever customer counts and when I do not perform well at work it reflects in everything from what food we can and can not purchase every two weeks to if we can do something extra for fun.

When you have a bad day you have to take a breath and reflect on a few things One is what is more important the good or the bad. We can have 100 good days but that one bad day  we can not allow us to erase how good those days are. When I get to take the time to write this blog it's good. I have to say it isn't easy coming up with advice every day and it surely has not been easy to write a 500 to 1000 word blog post at least two to three times a week but when I reflect that someday you can share this with your children as I hope you do, you can know that even when you were young I was thinking about what your life will be like when you are older.

I have always been one to hold on to grudges and negative to much and too long. I remember every person who wronged me much more intensely than everyone who did something for me which is sad. Some of them I do not remember their names but I remember how they treated me and how they tried to get away with something when they did not deserve it.

I guess my point is share the good things. Today I helped my boss get out and not stay and extra hour so he could be with his loved ones.I helped a two year old girl who was tired and hungry with a glass of water and some crackers from my snack bag. I entertained customers and made them laugh. I helped people pick out glasses that they will wear for years to come. I began my on-line learning course. I worked out part of my next game I want to invent. I ate good leftover pizza for dinner. Sometimes the good things are simple and we take them for granted when we should never take them for granted.

So TA4MC Take the good with the bad. Remember the good  and let go of the bad. You only attract what you focus on. 

Love conquers fear. Lessons From Frozen

Queen Elsa

A list of Lessons from the movie Frozen. 

When the sky is awake it's time to play

Beware a frozen heart

Fear is the enemy

Know where the healers are

Magical skills gain power.

Hearts are not so easily changed

Heads can be persuaded

keeping things hidden from those who love you is never a good solution to a problem.

Know the difference between elated and gassy.

True love within family is stronger than a strangers kiss.

If you have a ballroom have balls.

Never trust a business partner who dances like a chicken and has the face of a monkey.

Never trust a prince who is 12th in line for the throne in his own country. 

Sisters will hurt you even when they do not intend to.

Don't call a man 3 times your size a crook in his place

Having a voice for your pet will keep you from going insane but people will think your crazy.

Talking to someone will not always resolve the problem. They may not be able to.

Know how to make a snow anchor.

A 200 foot drop onto 20 ft of snow may or may not hurt.

Never call an  snowman  golem  in charge of protecting the queen a marshmallow.

Let it go.

Test the limits and break through.

Yellow and snow don't mix.

Nothing makes a magical snowman happier than its own personal flurries in Summer.

Sharing a carrot with your best friend even if it is a reindeer is ok,

Bring back summer.

Bark face up. No down. No up.

Don't trust anyone from a place called Weaseltown.

Have rope, and axe and carrots if you want a trip up the north mountain at dusk. 

If you try to slay my sister in order to take over my kingdom, expect a punch in the face.

If someone loses their sled while saving your life you owe them a new sled. 

TA4MC Love conquers fear. 

If you don't say it people forget it.

Higher? 

A lot of times people myself included compare things to a savings account at a bank. What you put into it is what you get out of it. The quality of the effort you put forth in you education, work, and relationship should reflect how people treat you, talk about you and should also grow some interest.  As in the longer the investment stays the return on that investment should also grow. If it is not then you have to make a hard decision to withdraw and start over with something  new. Or renegotiate the terms of the relationship.

Some simple things to look at are for example if your in a romantic relationship, and your doing all the giving and work.  Your the one that says "I love you" all the time, Your are the one who remembers milestones and little things of why you are in the relationship and your partner is not. You may need to have that conversation about the relationship or just withdraw or breakup.

If your doing all the work at your job and your manager gives you praise and credit for your efforts as well as rewards you for good work. That may be a place of work  to form a life long career or a leader to follow. If he takes credit for your efforts and never shows you any praise, then it's time to have a conversation or withdraw and search for a new job or better yet start your own business.

If you are in a class, workshop or seminar, especially one you par for and you are not learning. Ask to switch teachers I had to do that in 5th grade and in college. If  necessary ask for a refund. If you getting great information and learning, form a relationship with that instructor so you can always learn from them. Also remember to be the positive force in a relationship by saying kind words. keeping people engaged and be aware of how your actions influence those around you. This however is not a reason for staying in a negative relationship. 

TA4MC If your not getting what you want or need out of any relationship it's never healthy to stay  in it. 

Dealign with anger. Keeping cool when it gets under your skin .

For those that know me personally, Depending on the day I have a long fuse but When I blow up. I usually regret it. I have had  those moments where it was better to punch a wall or other non living thing before I went to jail for cracking someone's skull or putting them in a rear naked choke until their face turned purple.

I was not always like this as a young child, I ended up in the principal's office many times. My buttons were easy to push. I was fat, and tall an easy target, If I fought back I got in trouble because I was bigger and if I hit you, you went down.  Comments about my parents were always under attack for no good reason. I didn't take to name calling very well and would chase and due to being slow would unable to catch the kids making fun of me so I would have to blind side them at lunch or trip them in line. Then little brothers get big brothers and fights or all out attacks would then take place. 

I got angry and frustrated a lot sometimes that anger was passed along to angst with parents or family members. People hurt me so I wanted something to hurt and that's just wrong. So reflecting here's are a few ways to deal with anger.

Martial arts. Thank you  Bruce lee and Sensei Bobby Lamattina.  Find an exercise that you love. I wanted to hit and Punching and kicking bags was and still is my favorite release. It also was a form of meditation.

Reading. Getting into a good book can calm and settle a racing mind. I find this is also good late at night when you can not sleep.

Laughing. Watch a favorite funny movie, read a book of jokes.

Talk to a friend outside of the problem. Great friends will always be there to listen and may give you and outside point of view.

Write. Get every thought of your mind and on paper. Do not worry about spelling or grammar. 

Walk. Take a good walk away from the problem. If they give chase. Then go back to the martial arts.

TA4MC. Anger and holding feelings in  is never the solution to the problem active action to a solution or resolution is.

Stay cool. Sean.

Serving others is different than being a Servant. Know the difference.

I have been in the service industry all my life. From being a paper boy to a grocery store clerk then a retail career since the age of 16. I am 41 now and I am still a servant in the service industry. I work for a corporation and serve customers in the optical industry. I am judged and rewarded by my ability to sell customers products and meet their needs. Each customer is an individual and needs to be treated as such. I am controlled by the corporate guide lines and standards. Therefor I am a servant. I have no control of the selection of products I sell. The method they are to be presented and price they are set. I only control the conversation and the relationship I build with the customer. Many people work this way. Just as a king commands a kingdom and a group of servants. The CEO is the appointed king and the employees are the servants. The only difference is we are free to leave. The consequences will be financial instead of an execution. But we have the choice to look for a new king if we choose. 

When we serve, we serve a cause. The funny thing is now companies realize that serving a cause helps business grow. From Tim Horton's Doughnuts  and their fundraising for camp good days to Wegmans grocery stores and helping out hunger. You can not shop many major businesses without being asked for a donation for a cause. I even thought during the ribbon craze that a store that just supported causes would be a viable businesses. Breast Cancer products in isle 1. Starving Children isle 2. Stray Pets Isle 3 etc. 

All kidding aside every cause is a good cause as long as the group is responsible with how the donations are used and you believe in the cause. If you don't believe in the cause, do not represent it. It will show every time you discuss the cause. If you join a corporation, and you have no experience with what the group does. I advise you to jump in and learn about it and see if it is a match. It may be the reason you  serve those in need.  

TA4MC Never serve a cause that you do not believe in and never serve a master who does not believe in you. 

TA4MC I still play make believe.

Yesterday in came home with dress clothing for my kid. It was a blast as a parent to see my daughter dressing up as Dorthy, Snow White and Cinderella. The irony was the night before, I was playing make believe.  I'm a Gamer. RPG, card, board games, video. I love Games, I design games. 

Last night I played a game of FATE. A great story telling game. Gaming gives me many things. It give me time with friends, as creative outlet.  A good laugh and  an escape from what is bothering me in reality.

Unlike my daughter my game of make believe we did not dress up. We rolled dice, fought bad guys and overcame challenges. We rolled dice and enjoyed the story we created together. 

My daughter was a two Disney Princesses, a ballerina, and Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. She wore the Ruby Red shoes with ever outfit. She was a miss and giggles from the moment I walked in the door after work. 

Today's advice for my child is to never stop playing. Make believe or other wise.

Parental-Do. A Bakers Dozen of Difficult Subjects to Think About Now More Than Later.

From my Black Belt Test. 

I am not a black belt in parenting. Maybe a yellow or Orange belt. But no master. We all have the choice of being proactive or reactive. As in the game of chess we have to sometimes think 3 moves ahead. Other times we have to be the Aikido Master and keep your center and react with energy equal to the energy we receive. As the parent of a 3 year old child, I have been thinking about the hard topics parents have to discuss with their children. Lately I have seen many commercials trying to help parents talk to their kids about topics such as texting while driving, prescription drug abuse, what to post and not post on the internet. It made me think about what do I need to prepare to talk to my child about. 

1. Death
2. Love
3. Family
4. Money
5. Faith/religion
6. Education
7. Drugs/Alcohol
8. Relationships
9. Media
10. Passion
11. Dating/Marriage
12. Health
13. Entrepreneurship

My list is probably not complete so please add to the comments any subjects I may have missed.

TA4MC You can plan ahead and be ready or be centered and react. If you do not have a plan or you are off balance it will not work. 

Commend, Comment, Discuss, Complain. but never be silent.